howdull: (sad] cry)
Sherlock Holmes ([personal profile] howdull) wrote 2017-02-06 03:47 pm (UTC)

cw: suicidal ideation

[His heart twists.]

If you're going to talk to Mary, might I suggest turning off voice to text, I'm sure you'd rather keep that conversation private.

[He knows it's not healthy that John sees his dead wife, but he can't help but wonder... what does she say about him? How virulently does she condemn him for what he did to her? His world spins in a dizzying way, a panic attack rearing its ugly head at the very thought. His breathing comes too shallow, his hands shake too badly to type.

He's suddenly paralysed by the fear of getting it wrong again. He's miscalculated so many times recently, to such devastating effect, he almost doesn't trust his own mind. It would be better if he was gone, better for them all.

No. No. Got to hold it together long enough to save John, have to save John Watson.]


Not your fault. [It's taking longer to type than he would like with his hands shaking like this, so he switches to voice to text.] It's like when we were forced to murder, when I killed two men under the influence of this town. You were under the influence also, you cannot apply your usual moral compass or culpability to this situation.

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